I’m about to pour everything out that has been weighing on my mind. This post is very difficult for me to actually push publish on. Allowing people to know the struggles my family and I are currently facing is very scary for me. I haven’t even posted this on my personal social media accounts. But after several weeks of struggling to keep it all together and get out of bed in the morning, I receiving some good advice from a fellow mentor which has allowed me to accept my decision to get this out and share.
I fall in that group of people who tend to only share the good of what is going on in life. I feel like the “bad and ugly” people see as either someone whining or wanting attention. I do not let people know anything is wrong until my breaking point, at the point when it’s too late and I feel like the world is crashing down on me. But truth is I LOVE sharing about what is going on with my life, good,bad & ugly. When I get to talking I have a hard time shutting up. While I love technology, a good in person conversation makes me oh so happy.
I received some advice last week that weighed on my heart and inspired me to go ahead write this post and get it out of my head. This person said “People want to know you. The authentic you. Not just the good side of you but the not so fun side too. Many people are looking to connect with others who they can relate to. You never know how powerful your story is until you tell it.” So if you’re still reading this post thank you…
The layoff –
Last August while on vacation I received a phone call that I was being laid off from a job I had been at for about 10 years. The phone call was very vague on what was going to happen and what to expect. I was told I would find out more information once I returned back to work the following week. I couldn’t stop thinking the whole time while at the beach what they could not tell me. How was this going to impact Sean, Riley and I? How would we pay the bills? And I didn’t want to spend a dime on vacation after that phone call because I had noooo clue what was going to happen. Vacation just sucked last year..
After coming back from vacation I had a meeting explaining our work was being moved to another corporate office. Essentially we all were all asked to stay with the company to help transition our workload to the new team at the new facility. We were all given various dates of when we would be released from the company but we could leave at any time if we needed to. We had the option to apply for other jobs within the company as well.
While I agreed to stay to help with the transition my heart and passion to stay with the company was so far gone. Actually my drive to stay with the company had been gone for many years. I had already applied for jobs outside the company before this happen. I did not receive any leads from those many applications I submitted.
Gods Plan –
Now I am not big on religion but all the signs about this lay off show me this was GOD’s doing.. GOD was listening when I asked for a change in my career path but delivered to me in a different way than giving me another job or winning the lottery. God knew the only way I would leave this current job is to have another lined up. So instead he pushed me out of it. Here I was faced with a decision to make. Either find another job within the company or go out and do something great with my life like I have been trying to do for so long. Before the layoff I applied to all these various jobs inside and outside the company yet nothing came of them. I wasn’t kept in this job because I am not good enough for something better, I believe GOD held me back from other opportunities because he knew I wanted none of those. He knew I wanted to escape the corporate world and was working on it in ways I could not see or understand.
Since Riley was born I’ve wanted to take my photography from a hobby and create an actual business. Every time I said I was ready to take my photography from a Hobby to a business something always came up, I freaked out and I quit. I continuously gave up on myself. I felt like I was a fraud (not good enough to call myself Professional Photographer because I wasn’t all that great) and that this type of life I dreamt of didn’t really exist.
After months of back and forth battling with my inner voice, I listened to my heart and gut.. I am pursuing the life I have dreamt of. Creating art, mentoring and spreading love & positivity.
For the last year I have invested in learning about self development. I’ve been reading books, listening to podcasts and joined self development groups. This has been a game changer for me. I started believing in myself more. Realizing I am not the only one going through the same situation (or worse) and I had the ability just like everyone else to build a life I dream of and that I am not crazy. I spend a lot of time either focusing on self development or talking with other entrepreneurs about everything they had to overcome and do to be where they are at. There stories are not what I thought they would be. They all faced different challenges. Many of them didn’t believe they would be where they are to day if you asked them 5 years ago. They also struggled getting up in the morning going to their 9-5 comfortable job. They too tried to apply for other jobs with no success. They decided to stop living what society thought was “right” and start venturing out to see how they could live the life they knew they wanted, but no book to tell them how. This is how I felt about working for a corporation. I had no passion to climb the corporate ladder. My passion was fueled by building things, creating things, teaching people and spreading positivity. These things I am good at and make me happy. The challenge of building a business, growing it, nurturing it, etc. It’s exciting to me.
I’ve come to terms that maybe I kept restarting and quitting all those times because it really wasn’t the right time. But now, all the signs are there that are telling me GO FOR IT KRYSTLE!
I am scared for what the next couple months will bring but we will overcome this.
Now I feel better getting that out. If this inspires you in someway or feel like you need a mentor to get through something difficult, reach out to me. I want this to be a place people can come to check out not only my craft but also what is going on in our life. This is the first of many personal blog posts. I want To connect with my followers. I want to be a part of your life too. Share with me your blog, IG or send me an email and lets chat. I recommend everyone struggling with something to find a support group or community who uplifts you.
Now after 8 hours of writing and rewriting this blog post, I am headed to spend some quality time with Riley.
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